Note to Self : Healing
by
Infusing Sunshine
- May 22, 2019
Note to Self: 2 of 3
Picture a blooming deep ruby rose and the wafting of its sweet, heady fragrance towards you as it stands proudly with its strong
and steady stem. For this budding rose to grace you with its presence, it had
to break through the earth and slowly grow through the thick, muddy soil. Do you think
this rose allows the thought of the pain of emerging from the bud of its
beginning, while it had to weather the forceful rain and winds to prevent it
from blossoming in all its glory? This rose chose to look towards the sun and hasn’t
looked beneath it ever since, so why should you?
It is shockingly effortless to let yourself go and allow
the nightmare of your past and of what was to consume you. I know there are days when you feel misplaced, confused, and as though you have no options on what path to take going forward or what to do next,
but you always have a choice.
You now have the choice to wake up from that very nightmare which was once your reality; it’s a mere distant moment you once lived, and the good news is, it's behind you. I hope you have now realized that you have lived through and left behind the ruins of your past; it is no longer where you are presently, nor where you need to revisit.
You now have the choice to wake up from that very nightmare which was once your reality; it’s a mere distant moment you once lived, and the good news is, it's behind you. I hope you have now realized that you have lived through and left behind the ruins of your past; it is no longer where you are presently, nor where you need to revisit.
You are now taking active steps in educating yourself about
the need to find inner peace, whilst trying your best to heal and indulge in
self-love merely by reading this article. Even if it's baby steps, they are
steps moving forward.
You are now where you should be, on your
path of self-forgiveness, and if anything, I hope you are safe.
I have no idea how you got through the earthquakes of gloom which tremored in your mind, the floods of disbelief which submerged your heart, or the volcanic pain which tried to melt your soul.
Thank God, I am
proud of you! You survived an era that was meant to destroy you. Sometimes you
need to hear gratitude for yourself, from yourself. Be proud of yourself!
Healing is a process, and time is its best friend. Luckily, there will be days when you feel at ease, filled with positivity, and ready to move on. However, there will also be days that draw you into a whirlwind of gloom. What’s important is to never give up. Look at your dark
days as the night, which is necessary and natural, before welcoming the next new
sunny day filled with the bright rays of potential.
With healing comes the realisation, learning to be kind to
yourself and to handle your state of mind delicately.
With healing, it is also important not to fall into the trap
of feeling overly apologetic towards oneself. Be patient with yourself, but
don’t forget you are your own cheerleader, you are all you have, you need to
motivate and drive yourself to tackle life when you fear you don’t have an ounce of strength to employ your mind to fulfill your daily goals.
The brilliant thing about us humans is that we are
resilient beings. Thankfully, the bottom line is, you are human, you make
mistakes that have some unfavorable consequences, you may give others the benefit of
the doubt when they really don’t deserve it, and your judgment may not be so
wonderful at times.
I hope you realize you already possess the inherent ability
to persevere, break through the ceiling when the room is caving in, and you can
pick yourself up when the world is pulling you down mercilessly. You have no
idea how many times you have done so before.
You need to accept that yes, you judged wrongly, you ran
when you were meant to not even crawl but to sit first, or maybe you made a bad
choice, and that’s okay, and what is more important is your realization that a simple choice of the past does not define how you live the rest of your
tomorrows.
Through all the misfortune that has happened, I urge you
not to regret the kindness you gave nor the duty you felt you had to perform,
even if it was ignored or taken for granted.
You tried your best, you did what you felt was right, and if the
recipients of your actions were visionless, walk away gracefully. I want you to live happily with the fact that
certain paths are meant to be crossed, whether we like it or not, and lessons
need to be learnt to master ourselves.
Maybe your lesson from it all was to now know when to be
kind and when to stand up for yourself by not allowing yourself to be pushed
and tugged according to the will of others or any particular situation. Know
that you have fulfilled your purpose in that moment, and now you need to move
forward.
The goodness you allowed to overflow from your heart was
who and what you are made of, so please, don’t ever allow the softness of your
heart to fade away into the numbness of this world.
Is the disaster you were once a part of worth reliving in
your head, day after day, and worth holding on to? Why torture yourself with the
agony of your yesterdays?
Many of us don’t have a clue on how to deal with the hurt.
We become our own worst enemy by constantly digging deep into scenarios we once
wished we could have vanished from. Why revisit what did not appreciate your presence? Why put yourself through the hurt several
times over when once was enough? Forget about situations you could not control
and find ways to hold on to the wheel in situations you can steer according to your
own will.
I think it is time to look at the pain differently. Pain is the price you pay for every precious thing
you have in your life, be it the precious love and support from parents, family, and friends, discovering the power of having faith and hope, or even learning
how to finally put yourself first. Allow
yourself to bloom into the being you were born to be.
No one can take away or alter who you truly are; an attempt
to do so is equivalent to trying to disturb a creation already declared as a masterpiece,
all on its own.
In order to heal, you need to feel. Allow yourself to face
the emotions head-on, talk it out, cry it out, write it out, or even get fit and
work it out.
Allow yourself to release the tidal wave of emotions you
were holding back all this time.
Allow yourself to take steps towards flushing out the thoughts
and memories that hurt you, and what really doesn’t and should not matter
anymore.
Leave the moments that created your tears, which tried and failed to taint your heart with constant pain and regret, where they belong, in the wasteland of what was.
Don’t disrespect
your future and your present by constantly looking back. Don’t allow yourself to be the
obstacle preventing you from turning the page to start a new chapter, or better
yet, starting a new volume of your life.
You may feel upset at times, upset with the choices you
made, you may even feel disappointed with yourself, but you need to be
forgiving - simple but difficult to begin with.
Forgive yourself for the wrong decisions, forgive yourself for where you were, but also thank yourself for not giving up, for taking a stance, for carrying yourself through the tearful moments, for realizing you SHOULD NOT try to eliminate yourself, but to rather eliminate the situation you were in, for bringing you to where you are now. Thank yourself for surviving!
You are a fighter, so thank yourself for finally fighting
for your worth, for waking up and realizing you don’t deserve to be hurt,
fooled, humiliated, and unhappy.
You deserve to be treated better, you deserve to be cared
for and protected, even if you are your own shield.
You deserve to wake up with a smile on your face, warmth in
your heart, and in a place where you belong.
I want you to remember to be gentle with yourself. You have
made it thus far and have handled yourself graciously.
via GIPHY
Remember to not be as bad as how you were treated. You should not allow the actions of others to hurt you nor worry you. At the end of the day, everyone is accountable for their own actions, and the actions of others merely speak about who they are and not about who you are.
Remember to not be as bad as how you were treated. You should not allow the actions of others to hurt you nor worry you. At the end of the day, everyone is accountable for their own actions, and the actions of others merely speak about who they are and not about who you are.
Maintain and preserve, if not amplify, your goodness and
humanity.
Without even realizing it, you won’t allow yourself to be
lost to any other individual or situation in the coming future, but will rather
be reborn according to what each new experience requires of you.
Don’t turn into what hurt you, even if your trust, your
time, or your possessions were stolen from you; be happy with the fact that the individual that you were and are has remained, you are just stronger now.
Don’t cry over material things or a sum of money because, honestly, your safety and the happiness in your heart will always trump the
money in your bank or the possessions in your name.
You have weathered through the storm and blossomed into a
survivor and fighter, whilst not letting go of the softness of your heart, and
that my sweet can never be stolen from you.- Infusing Sunshine ☀
