Infusing Sunshine

Note to Self : Hope

by endangered elegance - June 13, 2019

Note to Self : 3 of 3

Hope, hope is the fuel on which your soul survives. Hope beams through your darkest moments, constantly shedding light when you fail to lift the veil of doubt. As there is salt in the sea, the sun in the sky, and blood pulsing through your veins, hope will always flow fluently and naturally from your heart.

Hope: the general dictionary definition is "the desire or the expectation that something will happen, and naturally, you would hope for something wonderful to materialize".

Hope is what you hold on to, like the rainbow we look forward to after going through the ghastly thunderstorms of life. We hope that, just as the rainbow is formed from thousands of little droplets of water that sparkle ever so proudly under the sun's encouragement, our lives, too, will be illuminated by countless moments of bliss.

The wheel of time always turns, and the scales of life will always try to find a balance between the good and the bad times. We may be greeted by many unpleasant, distressing days, moments, months, or years that leave a dreadful aftertaste with us, but we will equally be pleased with the meeting of sweet moments of life enveloped in happiness and laughter. The tender moments will be worth the terrible nightmares. The good will outweigh the bad.

A pure example of the struggle for joy is a mother who endures the birth of her baby to be blessed with lifelong moments of joy with her child, or a student, exhausted by researching, reading, and endless all-nighters, who eventually earns a pass with outstanding marks.

There will always be times filled with overflowing happiness as well as unbearable struggles in life; if there isn’t, then you simply aren’t living.

There is hope everywhere.

The night feeds us with hope as it lights up the sky with dancing stars and the cool moon, reminding us that the light from the night is a mere sample of the golden rays from the sun, which awaits us in the distance called tomorrow.

via GIPHY

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It is tough to say, but things don’t always work out. The plan you have diligently worked on for as long as you can remember might not go according to the exact detail of what you may have pictured for yourself, and that is okay.

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Marilyn Monroe once said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” In my opinion, I also believe that sometimes the association with some individuals and certain periods of your life, which are not worthy nor meant for you, will eventually remain behind as you push forward.

If you are unable to obtain the job you were working towards, there is a better opening waiting for you elsewhere. If you didn’t end up with the person you thought you were going to live the rest of your life with, that’s because, thankfully, your future partner is out there trying to find you to sweep you off your feet.

If nothing seems to be going your way these days, then maybe you need a break, and you need to step back to focus on yourself, to recharge your batteries and replenish your energy to start again.

If you are trying to recover from a disastrous phase in life and trying your best to dust off any reminder left from your fall to the ground, then you need to allow yourself to heal.

Look inwards.

Focus on the most important person in your life.

The person who put you together when the world thought it would be fun to tear you apart.

The person who always had your best interests at heart and would always choose you no matter the options - YOU.

Don’t feel selfish about giving in to yourself and just give yourself the time to learn to appreciate and love yourself. You owe yourself that much, if not more.

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I hope you learn to look up and not be ashamed of where you are right now or where you have been.

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I hope that in your process of healing and letting go of the past, you make discoveries that you can’t afford to forget.

I hope you learn that leaving everything in the past is the best thing you could ever do. By no longer attaching value to what bound you, you find the freedom your heart was and is always beating for.

I hope that when you are ready to start your new adventure in life, you start off with a blank canvas, entirely up to you to paint with all the colors of your journeys and wonderful moments ahead.

via GIPHY

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I hope that as you tend to the terrible wounds of the past, you learn that you did not deserve the slightest scratch but were strong enough to handle it.

I hope you learn that you are always entitled to feel how you feel at any given moment, be it good or bad, and no one has the right to make you feel nor tell you otherwise.

I hope you learn the importance of not allowing any other person to take your presence for granted.

I hope you won't dumb yourself down to make others feel comfortable.

Please don’t dilute the essence of what and who you are to conform to what the world around you wants.

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I honestly hope you discover that there is far more to life than spending it away trying to settle and please a crowd of people who don’t value your kindness or your time.

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I hope you learn when to make the extra effort, when the extra effort isn’t deserved, and can hopefully come to terms with the fact that the extra effort isn’t helping you, it won’t change anything, nor will it change anyone.

Why not dedicate your extra time and love to yourself, the one person worth submerging all your devoted efforts in?

I hope you learn not to be submissive, especially to another who is constantly oppressive.

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I hope you fight for what you now know, what you will learn, and what you truly deserve.

I honestly hope you discover that there is far more to life than spending it away trying to settle and please a crowd of people who don’t value your kindness or your time.

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I hope you learn it is important to respect, but not unnecessarily fear another individual, for no human being is bigger than God. We are all here fighting our own battles, with our only competition being the person we were yesterday.

I hope you learn that your experience was another means of teaching you how you should not behave and how important it is to maintain grace and goodness, even if it is not deserved, but because that is just who you are.

I hope you learn it’s not okay to live in fear of what you say nor what you do because it may result in an outburst from another. You are in charge of and have control over your actions and yours alone, not others.

I hope you understand that you are entitled to your own opinions, dreams, and wishes, and should make every effort to fulfill all you have always hoped to achieve from the first dream you dreamt. Don’t ever downgrade your dreams, lower your worth, your standards, or diminish your voice. Expand your horizons, give more, always be gracious, and expect only the best for yourself.

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I hope you learn that you should never be in a position of begging to the point of kneeling and groveling (literally or figuratively) to ensure that there is peace in your life or harmony in your home.

I hope you learn to maintain who you are and never turn into the bitterness of what tried to damage you.

You deserve to give your pleasant moods, affection, and your treasured warm moments to the one person who has always had your back from day one, to you! Always be ready to go into combat for yourself, and remember you deserve the respect you ever so freely give to the world around you.

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I hope you learn not to allow a few days, moments, or months of terror to destroy your life ahead.

I hope you learn when to identify a dying flower, draw the line, and cut your losses.

I hope you learn to accept and let go of the insignificant past and make peace and liberate yourself from the heaviness of the trauma you carry in your heart, which you allow to haunt your thoughts.

I hope you understand that if you were in a position where your time or even your possessions were stolen, altered, or damaged, you should deem the theft and the loss as leaving bad luck behind you or the weight and baggage you could no longer carry, and look forward to attaining much better than what you possessed before.

I hope you never give your power to any other situation or individual.

I hope you realize that walking away was the best decision of your life, so please don’t think otherwise.

I hope you never allow your softness to be seen as your weakness and to be taken advantage of, but rather be seen as unshakable strength that only the unkind will fight to break down.

via GIPHY

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I hope you learn the art of repelling every harsh word that rolls off their tongue with every beat of your lovely heart.

I hope you learn that you are the number. 1 in your life before anything and anyone else.

I hope you learn that self-care is not selfish and should, in fact, be your default system of respecting and restoring yourself at any given time.

I hope you learn how to protect your exquisite self from any dangers that seek to destroy you and the elements of your personality that make you, you.

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I hope you learn how brilliantly amazing you already are and how fiercely capable you are of becoming all that you have always wished to be. Most importantly, I hope you believe in your heart of hearts that you are worth the priceless value of the shining stars and the glowing moon and deserve so much more.

I hope you know and believe that you will find the joys and loveliness that await you in your days ahead. You need to have faith, believe that better days are coming.

Thank God for gifting you with the past experiences and a key to reveal your true form, and helping you to build yourself up to face the true and raw nature of the world.

I urge you to laugh in the face of adversity, for its presence is a temporary visit and your strength is your constant companion.

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I hope you find solace in learning to fall in love with yourself every step of the way as you heal and relish in the joy of choosing you!

Choosing yourself is a step forward in protecting yourself from future harm, pouring love from your own healing heart, and respecting the one person that truly deserves all you have to offer, and that is you.

Your future is pregnant with an abundance of happiness, with an immeasurable abundance of happiness, don’t think otherwise.

You have done beautifully thus far; don’t give up now!

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XOXO

2 comments

Note to Self : Healing

by Infusing Sunshine - May 22, 2019

Note to Self: 2 of 3

Picture a blooming deep ruby rose and the wafting of its sweet, heady fragrance towards you as it stands proudly with its strong and steady stem. For this budding rose to grace you with its presence, it had to break through the earth and slowly grow through the thick, muddy soil. Do you think this rose allows the thought of the pain of emerging from the bud of its beginning, while it had to weather the forceful rain and winds to prevent it from blossoming in all its glory? This rose chose to look towards the sun and hasn’t looked beneath it ever since, so why should you?

It is shockingly effortless to let yourself go and allow the nightmare of your past and of what was to consume you. I know there are days when you feel misplaced, confused, and as though you have no options on what path to take going forward or what to do next, but you always have a choice.

You now have the choice to wake up from that very nightmare which was once your reality; it’s a mere distant moment you once lived, and the good news is, it's behind you. I hope you have now realized that you have lived through and left behind the ruins of your past; it is no longer where you are presently, nor where you need to revisit.

You are now taking active steps in educating yourself about the need to find inner peace, whilst trying your best to heal and indulge in self-love merely by reading this article. Even if it's baby steps, they are steps moving forward.

You are now where you should be, on your path of self-forgiveness, and if anything, I hope you are safe.

I have no idea how you got through the earthquakes of gloom which tremored in your mind, the floods of disbelief which submerged your heart, or the volcanic pain which tried to melt your soul.

Thank God, I am proud of you! You survived an era that was meant to destroy you. Sometimes you need to hear gratitude for yourself, from yourself. Be proud of yourself!

Healing is a process, and time is its best friend. Luckily, there will be days when you feel at ease, filled with positivity, and ready to move on. However, there will also be days that draw you into a whirlwind of gloom. What’s important is to never give up. Look at your dark days as the night, which is necessary and natural, before welcoming the next new sunny day filled with the bright rays of potential.

With healing comes the realisation, learning to be kind to yourself and to handle your state of mind delicately.

With healing, it is also important not to fall into the trap of feeling overly apologetic towards oneself. Be patient with yourself, but don’t forget you are your own cheerleader, you are all you have, you need to motivate and drive yourself to tackle life when you fear you don’t have an ounce of strength to employ your mind to fulfill your daily goals.

The brilliant thing about us humans is that we are resilient beings. Thankfully, the bottom line is, you are human, you make mistakes that have some unfavorable consequences, you may give others the benefit of the doubt when they really don’t deserve it, and your judgment may not be so wonderful at times.

I hope you realize you already possess the inherent ability to persevere, break through the ceiling when the room is caving in, and you can pick yourself up when the world is pulling you down mercilessly. You have no idea how many times you have done so before.

You need to accept that yes, you judged wrongly, you ran when you were meant to not even crawl but to sit first, or maybe you made a bad choice, and that’s okay, and what is more important is your realization that a simple choice of the past does not define how you live the rest of your tomorrows.

Through all the misfortune that has happened, I urge you not to regret the kindness you gave nor the duty you felt you had to perform, even if it was ignored or taken for granted. You tried your best, you did what you felt was right, and if the recipients of your actions were visionless, walk away gracefully. I want you to live happily with the fact that certain paths are meant to be crossed, whether we like it or not, and lessons need to be learnt to master ourselves.

Maybe your lesson from it all was to now know when to be kind and when to stand up for yourself by not allowing yourself to be pushed and tugged according to the will of others or any particular situation. Know that you have fulfilled your purpose in that moment, and now you need to move forward.

The goodness you allowed to overflow from your heart was who and what you are made of, so please, don’t ever allow the softness of your heart to fade away into the numbness of this world.

Is the disaster you were once a part of worth reliving in your head, day after day, and worth holding on to? Why torture yourself with the agony of your yesterdays?

Many of us don’t have a clue on how to deal with the hurt. We become our own worst enemy by constantly digging deep into scenarios we once wished we could have vanished from. Why revisit what did not appreciate your presence? Why put yourself through the hurt several times over when once was enough? Forget about situations you could not control and find ways to hold on to the wheel in situations you can steer according to your own will.

I think it is time to look at the pain differently. Pain is the price you pay for every precious thing you have in your life, be it the precious love and support from parents, family, and friends, discovering the power of having faith and hope, or even learning how to finally put yourself first. Allow yourself to bloom into the being you were born to be.

No one can take away or alter who you truly are; an attempt to do so is equivalent to trying to disturb a creation already declared as a masterpiece, all on its own.

In order to heal, you need to feel. Allow yourself to face the emotions head-on, talk it out, cry it out, write it out, or even get fit and work it out.

Allow yourself to release the tidal wave of emotions you were holding back all this time.

Allow yourself to take steps towards flushing out the thoughts and memories that hurt you, and what really doesn’t and should not matter anymore.

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Leave the moments that created your tears, which tried and failed to taint your heart with constant pain and regret, where they belong, in the wasteland of what was.

Don’t disrespect your future and your present by constantly looking back. Don’t allow yourself to be the obstacle preventing you from turning the page to start a new chapter, or better yet, starting a new volume of your life.

You may feel upset at times, upset with the choices you made, you may even feel disappointed with yourself, but you need to be forgiving - simple but difficult to begin with.

Forgive yourself for the wrong decisions, forgive yourself for where you were, but also thank yourself for not giving up, for taking a stance, for carrying yourself through the tearful moments, for realizing you SHOULD NOT try to eliminate yourself, but to rather eliminate the situation you were in, for bringing you to where you are now. Thank yourself for surviving!

You are a fighter, so thank yourself for finally fighting for your worth, for waking up and realizing you don’t deserve to be hurt, fooled, humiliated, and unhappy.

You deserve to be treated better, you deserve to be cared for and protected, even if you are your own shield.

You deserve to wake up with a smile on your face, warmth in your heart, and in a place where you belong.

I want you to remember to be gentle with yourself. You have made it thus far and have handled yourself graciously.

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Remember to not be as bad as how you were treated. You should not allow the actions of others to hurt you nor worry you. At the end of the day, everyone is accountable for their own actions, and the actions of others merely speak about who they are and not about who you are.

Maintain and preserve, if not amplify, your goodness and humanity.

Without even realizing it, you won’t allow yourself to be lost to any other individual or situation in the coming future, but will rather be reborn according to what each new experience requires of you.

Don’t turn into what hurt you, even if your trust, your time, or your possessions were stolen from you; be happy with the fact that the individual that you were and are has remained, you are just stronger now.

Don’t cry over material things or a sum of money because, honestly, your safety and the happiness in your heart will always trump the money in your bank or the possessions in your name.

You have weathered through the storm and blossomed into a survivor and fighter, whilst not letting go of the softness of your heart, and that my sweet can never be stolen from you.- Infusing Sunshine ☀

Wise words to remember,