As the world rushes into resolutions and reinvention, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. Maybe you’re still processing last year, or maybe you’re simply tired of the pressure to constantly improve. You’re not alone in that feeling — and you don’t need to have everything figured out right now.

There’s something about January that makes the world rush to reset — new goals, new plans, new versions of ourselves. But the truth is, beginnings don’t belong to a calendar. You don’t need a new year to start over. You can begin again tomorrow, today, or even in this very hour.

This season often brings both excitement and exhaustion. We’re told to chase new goals, but sometimes what we really need is rest, reflection, or simply a moment to breathe.

How you choose to start, why you choose to start, and what you choose to change are deeply personal. Those answers belong only to you. There’s no timeline for transformation, no deadline for growth. You are allowed to move at your own pace, to pause when needed, and to begin again as many times as it takes.

Everyone’s path unfolds differently. Some are ready to leap forward, while others are still finding their footing — both are perfectly okay. Growth doesn’t follow a schedule; it follows your heart.

Don’t let the noise of the world rush your process. Do what feels right for you, when it feels right for you. Every moment holds the potential for renewal — not just the first day of the year.

Be gentle with yourself as you move through this season. You’re allowed to rest, to heal, and to start again — not because the calendar says so, but because your soul is ready.

As you move through this season of your life, embrace it fully. Welcome the lessons, the stillness, and the growth that come with change. Life is not meant to be rushed — it’s meant to be lived, felt, and experienced. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a sign of your strength and your willingness to evolve. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be, and that your next season will unfold in its perfect time.

Wherever you are in your journey, know that you’re not behind — you’re simply becoming. This season isn’t about rushing forward; it’s about honoring where you are and trusting where you’re going.

And when you’re ready to take that next step, explore Your Next Chapter Starter Kit — a gentle guide designed to help release what no longer serves, reflect with intention, and embrace new beginnings in your own time and your own way.

 

XOXO

or simply toss away in the trash while smiling and waving.

XOXO

ARE YOU ALREADY IN THE CYCLE?

Abusive Phase 

Honeymoon phase 

Tension-building phase 

GET HELP!

• Ideally, try to make plans to find safer accommodation and arrange for housing.

• Pack essentials (identity document and other essential documents you may need, a fresh set of clothes to change into, money, and store a bag in an out-of-reach area to prevent anyone from finding it.

• Get a divorce- Visit your nearest Regional Court and communicate with the clerk of the court to advise you on the documentation required and forms needed to be filled out.

Go to a shelter

August - The Month of Awakening

 XOXO

AUGUST

Picture Source: Canva

Picture Source: Canva

EMOTIONAL, VERBAL, AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

PHYSICAL ABUSE

 A few examples such as shoving, biting, slapping, punching, hair pulling, and any harm caused to your physical body

SEXUAL ABUSE

Whereby your partner humiliates, abuses, degrades, or forces you to commit sexual acts even though you communicate how uncomfortable you feel and violate your sexual integrity.

ECONOMIC ABUSE

Whereby your partner unreasonably deprives you of necessary financial access which you are entitled to and utilize for household necessities or payment of rates, taxes, other services required for the maintenance and upkeep of your shared household.

• Withhold your money, which belongs to you.

• Your partner may destroy/ keep away property or household items you may have an interest in;

NO DISCRIMINATION

Abuse doesn’t discriminate, no matter your colour, financial status, age, profession, or even if you have a legal background; it usually lurks around until a bond or commitment is formed, until it's ready to pounce and devour you day by day.

Many of us were warned by a friend, a family member, or even chose to ignore the red flags that fiercely flapped as they blew wind through our hair.

I would ordinarily advise, from personal experience, to give your best at trying to make any relationship work. Compromise if need be, but don’t be the only one making the changes. If there is the slightest indication of abusive tendencies and actual abuse – leave.

Imagine staying with someone who would only promise to refrain from the abuse if you refrain from doing something, feeling a certain way, or saying a specific phrase. The moment you feel like it would be better to not exist, to think of ways and actually implement ways to no longer live with that person, is the day you learn the need to choose yourself above all else. 

The one thing I would want to share is the realization that it is impossible to change a grown human being, but it is never too late to hold on to who you are, hold on to your irreplaceable life, and change your direction.

When the abuse starts at first, it is unexpected, out of place, and in some cases, was promised to never take place. It does not occur to you that something is tragically wrong.

We often find ourselves blaming our own behavior and try to find ways to limit any disagreements by saying sorry almost immediately when we feel the tension rising, or being more accepting and watching our words to prevent any sudden explosions. You sometimes pray to wake up from the nightmare, you may try to pinch yourself awake, but then it dawns on you - the nightmare is, in actual fact, your reality.

In time, you try to turn yourself into someone you think the other person will be kinder and more caring.  Speak less, do more, smile even if your heart is aching against it.

You tend to stay away from your friends and family because you would have to bear the brunt of something they may say or do in passing that would offend your partner, but you would have to make every effort to ensure the happiness of his/her extended family.



You then delete messages and call records with fear of it being scrutinized at a later date. You end up changing everything about what you have always loved and believed in, while the other person believes he/she has no room for improvement, you should be grateful for the “love” that they bestow on you and realise what a gift they are, for most men are not as sensitive and caring are they are.

 

IT'S NOT “OKAY”

No form of abuse is “okay”.  No matter what you say or don’t say, no matter what you do or don’t do, no other human has the right to hurt, harm, or hinder you in any way. You are a living, breathing human being, belonging to no one else, no matter the relation. No one has the right over you!

When you are submerged in a relationship or marriage of constant fights, finding yourself in the dead of night banging on the car window, screaming and pleading for your partner not leave the house or create any further ruckus, or find yourself sitting in terror while they open the car door while driving back home and constantly threaten you that he /she will take their own life by jumping off the moving vehicle and you sit there trying to figure out a way on how you are going to survive if he /she actually jumps.

Then they gaslight you, and your recall of events becomes twisted by what your partner recalls and changes the story to make him/her seem as though they were merely trying to help and you were wrong, you don’t remember what actually happened, or they “claim” they were trying to move danger away from you.

You start playing the blame game with yourself and start to believe you are the wrong one, you need to change and before you know it, you start to convince yourself to stay and think to yourself that 'it’s too soon to give up, it’s only been a few months and the relationship, the marriage has just begun, its growing pains maybe?' Many women decide to stay until it’s too late.


 A deeper look into why women stay The Article titled: Abusive relationships: Why it’s so hard for women to ‘just leave’ dated 28 March 2018 by Daniel G. Saunders, Professor Emeritus of Social Work, University of Michigan looked closely at the article “Why I Stayed” by Jennifer Willoughby about her abusive marriage to former White House aide Rob Porter and the consistency of her experiences with what abused women have previously reported to researches. This article truly describes the thinking and the experiences of women in distress and why Jenifer, like most abused women, felt the need to stay in her marriage.



The question is, are you willing to stay only to ensure that the world doesn’t criticize you and has nothing unscrupulous to say about you or are you willing to leave because only you are experiencing every tear formed, every echoed scream and every ounce of the pain of what is actually going on behind the closed door, only you know how many miserable nights and days of regret you wished away. You need to be honest with yourself and realize that not one person on this earth was there to hold your hand, calm you down, or rescue you; you saved yourself.

Picture Source: Canva

You can’t live your life according to the words of what people might say; you have to live your life for what you need and deserve, even if it means you have to do so on your own.

Don’t get engulfed in the cycle of abuse, which usually results in the belief that things can be bad, but they can also be heavenly, so you stay and wait for the monsoon to pass, so you can hopefully gaze upon half a rainbow for a full second. Your marriage, partnership, or relationship should not be a sequence of paradoxical events.

ARE YOU ALREADY IN THE CYCLE?

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 XOXO